Taoism: Shit Happens
Buddhism: If shit happens, it really isn’t shit
Hinduism: This shit happened before
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah
Catholicism: Shit happens because you deserve it
Protestantism: Work harder or shit will happen
Materialist: Whoever dies with the most shit, wins.
Atheist: I can’t believe this shit!
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke this shit