Google’s Pizza

Caller: Hello! Gordon’s pizza?
Pizzeria: No sir it’s Google’s pizza.

Caller: Sorry, wrong number
Pizzeria: No sir, Google bought it.

Caller: OK. Take my order please
Pizzeria: Well sir, you want the usual?

Caller: The usual? Do you know me?
Pizzeria: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with everything and double cheese on a thick crust.

Caller: OK! That’s right
Pizzeria: May I suggest ricotta, arugula with dry tomato on a think crust pizza this time?

Caller: What? I hate vegetables!
Pizzeria: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

Caller: How do you know?
Pizzeria: We crossed the number of your fixed line with your name, through the subscribers guide.
We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

Caller: Okay, but I don’t want the pizza you’re suggesting!, I already take medicine …
Pizzeria: Excuse me, but you have not taken the medicine regularly, from our commercial database, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 cholesterol tablets at Shoppers Drug Mart.

Caller: I bought more from another drugstore.
Pizzeria: It’s not showing on your credit card statement

Caller: I paid in cash
Pizzeria: But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement

Caller: I have have other source of cash
Pizzeria: This is not shown on your last tax form unless you bought them from undeclared income source.

Pizzeria: I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the intention of helping you.

Caller: Enough! I’m sick of technology and computers knowing everything about me. I’m going to an Island without internet, or cable TV. Somewhere where there is no cell phone lines, and no one to watch my every move or spy on me

Pizzeria: I understand sir but you need to renew your passport first because it expired 5 weeks ago


About Nancy Tessier 130 Articles
Move Over Mid-Life Barbie, Nancy T is here. Married. Green-eyed blonde or brunette (depending on my mood). Sweet, sensitive, smart & self-employed. Owner of Windsor Business Networks, Bridal Basics, Mashup Kaffe Designer, Writer, Creative Director, and Master Collaborator