You know when you meet someone for the first time, they are on their best behavior and you walk away thinking they are very nice people? Like when you move into a new neighborhood and everyone is friendly. Then later they relax into their natural selves and you see what’s really underneath.
Ditto that with the soft-spoken, who rarely publicly raise their voices, speaking in hushed tones with slight helpless undertones. You feel like you need to protect them because they seem like wounded puppies, wide-eyed and confused.
All these types are only looking for something you can offer them, once they see you can’t be manipulated, that’s when the facade fades away and you see them for what they are.
The only way to deal with fakes, phonies, leeches, cons, drunks, addicts, and assholes is to be completely upfront and speak your mind. As an example, if your neighbor who you just met asks you to shovel the snow from his driveway all winter while he’s gone away somewhere warm, just say no! If this means he refuses to speak to you ever again, too bad!
You also don’t owe anyone any explanation; they don’t need to know that you have a handicap, or your back is out, or you work 18 hour days … you don’t owe anyone any excuse or explanation, just say no!
Mean what you say and say what you mean